5 Books Every Man Should Read
Clark Rant | I HATE Reading
I hate reading just as much as the any other guy. I often lose my place or get distracted, which causes me to re-read multiple paragraphs. I often catch myself shooting off a text message in the middle of a book or have countless daydreams that seem more interesting than the book itself. Needless to say reading is hard. But here’s another truth: Reading never gets easier.
I hate reading, but I love knowledge.
You will always have the excuse of “I don’t have enough time”. There will always seem to be more important things going on in life, then the book in front of your face. Reading never gets easier. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can start making the choice to show up and putting in the work to better yourself.
Readers are leaders. Reading good books can spark creativity within you. Some of my best ideas came in the middle of reading a book (i.e. video topics, book ideas, product outlets, launching a podcast, coaching questions, ect).
It doesn’t really matter what you read, it matters that you are reading.
These are my cream of the crop top 5 books I want to recommend to every man out there.
1. As a Man Thinketh – James Allen
You can have whatever you want in life as long as you can think big enough. You are a product of your own thoughts. James Allen is a master at taking complex ideas such as “positive thinking” or “meditation” that tend to sound “wu-wu” and turning them into real relatable ideas. By the time you’re done reading this 40-pager you will walk away feeling empowered and inspired to take action. Everything in your life is created from your thoughts. As you think, so you become. You can find it online from several online sources. However the bonus book “From Poverty to Power” that is after AMT is well worth buying the book.
Favorite Quotes :
“As we think, so we are; as we continue to think, so we remain.” pg 31
“Action is the blossom of thought, and joy and suffering are its fruits; thus do we garner in the sweet and bitter harvest of our own plantings. We are what we think we are” pg. 6
“We do not attract that which we want but that which we are” pg. 13
“You cannot travel within and stand still without” pg. 22
“We cannot directly choose our circumstances, but we can choose our thoughts and so, indirectly yet surely, shape our circumstances” pg. 21
As A Man Thinketh
2. The Way of the Superior Man – David Deida
If you only read one book off this list, make it The Way of the Superior Man. This book is offensively true. There will be sections that piss you off and you will find yourself finding every excuse to disagree with Deida, yet at your core you know he is just calling it as is. This is an absolute must read for all men.
The Way of the Superior Man gave me such a fresh perspectives on the delicate balance between the masculine and feminine energies that surround us. It is a book that I constantly find myself re-reading and applying to my life. David Deida explores everything ranging from purpose in life to ejaculating up the spine (yes, I’m serious). Plus the book is written in a 51 mini-chapter bite size format.
“The more a man is playing his real edge, the more valuable he is as good company for other men, the more he can be trusted to be authentic and fully present. Where a man’s edge is located is less important than whether he is actually living his edge.” pg. 20
“The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.” pg. 31 ( had to)
“The masculine means what it says. The feminine says what it feels”. pg. 58
“The whole point of an intimacy is to serve each other in growth and love, hopefully in better ways than we can serve ourselves. Otherwise, why engage in intimacy if your growth and love are served more by living alone?” pg.63
“In the end, the feminine search for love and the masculine search for freedom reach the same destination: the unbounded and infinite ground of being who you are, which is both absolute love and freedom.” pg. 129
The Way of the Superior Man
3. Maturity – Osho
How do you be in the world but not of the world? Do men go through menopause too? What does it mean to grow up and not just grow old? In a generation where it is almost normal to spend thousands of dollars plumping your lips with synthetic chemicals in order to “stay young” what does it actually mean to be mature? Everyone grows in age, however few actually grow in maturity. This book is a lifesaver. Osho’s presents his eastern philosophical wisdom as if he is sitting right there exploring them with you.
“Life is happiness and unhappiness. Life is day and night, life is life and death. You have to be away of both.” pg. 11
“The darker the night the brighter the stars.” pg. 14
“Maturity has nothing to do with your life experiences. It has something to do with your inward journey, your experiences of the inner. The more a man goes deeper into himself the more mature he is.” pg. 17
“Man becomes mature the moment he starts loving rather than needing. He starts overflowing, sharing, he starts giving.” pg. 53
“A poet may be poor, but when he is singing his song he is the richest man in the world.” pg. 134
“Just look all around… the evening is not the end nor is the morning the beginning. The morning is moving toward the evening and the evening is moving toward the morning. Everything is simply moving into different forms.” “life and death are not separate, not separated by 70-years.” pg.140
” Mins is a way to understand the object, meditation is a way to understand the subject. Mind is a concern with the contents, and meditation is a concern with the container-the consciousness. Mind becomes obsessed with the clouds and meditation searches for the sky. Clouds come and go, the sky remains, abides.” pg. 146
Maturity: The Responsibility of Being Oneself (Insights for a New Way of Living)
4. The Happiness Hypothesis – Jonathan Haidt
Where does happiness come from? We have gotten really good at studying what’s bad in life. We know the entire psychology and science behind depression, mental illnesses, and other junk, yet when it comes to focusing on happiness we have virtually no idea how it works. In other words, psychologists have gotten really good at taking people from feeling like a 0, then migrating back up to feeling like a 7 or 8, but we have no clue how to consistently take people above a 10. This book takes my underdog of the year award. Many of you know that I buy tons of books. Most of the books are decent, make a few good points, but that’s normally it. Rarely is a book jam packed cover to cover with big takeaways and fresh insights.
Film critic Roger Ebert says, “no good movie is too long, and no bad movie is too short”. Haidt’s book may be around 300 pages, but it’s definitely not too long.
“I don’t believe there is an inspiring answer to the question, “What is the purpose of life?” Yet by drawing on ancient wisdom and modern science, we can find compelling answers to the question of purpose within life. The final version of the happiness hypothesis is that happiness comes from between. Happiness is not something you can find, acquire, or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right and then wait. Some of those conditions are within you, such as coherence among the parts and levels of your personality. Other conditions require relationships to things beyond you: Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to thrive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger. It is worth striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge.” pg. 97
“Happiness comes from within, and happiness comes from without.” pg.105
The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom
5. The 4-Hour Workweek – Tim Ferriss
Want to escape the 9 – 5? How do you become part of the “new rich”? Are you someone who says “some day” over and over again? I am willing to put money down that you have probably already read this book. This book has the tools to revolutionize the way you work. Tim Ferriss is a time management guru, as well as a lifestyle design hacker. In other words, Tim finds every way to cut corners or as Tim calls “selective ignorance” (and that’s a good thing!) You can simplify nearly every area of your life. Being busy doesn’t equal being productive. This book puts you in the mindset of valuing time as your most precious resource. I have utilized tons of ideas from this book that have helped me launch products, outsource, save time and travel the world with a cheap budget. Remember, if you waste your time you waste your life.
“Life doesn’t have to be so damn hard. It really doesn’t. Most people, my past self included, have spent too much time convincing themselves that life has to be hard, a resignation to 9-to-5 drudgery in exchange for (sometimes) relaxing weekends and the occasional keep-it-short-or-get-fired vacation.” pg. 7
“Why do it all in the first place? What is the pot of gold that justifies spending the best years of your life hoping for happiness in the last?” pg. 9
“People don’t want to be millionaires — they want to experience what they believe only millions can buy.” pg. 9
“Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself.” pg. 50
“Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. It is the cure-all.” pg. 51
“Doing something unimportant well does not make it important.” pg. 68
“Most entrepreneurs fail because they jump into the deep end of the pool without learning to swim first.” pg. 120
“Remember- unless something is well-defined and important, no one should do it. Eliminate before you delegate.” pg. 122
The 4-Hour Workweek
What do you think? What are your favorite books? Did any not make the list? Answer in the comments below!
Remember: Reading smart people makes you smarter.
Stop settling and start living.
Seattle, WA 12:53PM
Life Hack | Time Management | 3 Uses of Time | Stephen Covey Style
- If you waste your time you waste your life.
- How to make $1,000 / hour
- Stop doing this: Wasting Time.
- Start doing this: Investing Time.
- BONUS: Video.
The old ism “time is worth more than money” always leaves a bitter taste. As always there is a disconnect between what we know and what we do. We know that time is more valuable than money, yet spend two-hours calling customer service fighting $10 bank charges.
I’ll be honest. Most articles on “time management” make me feel as if I’m wasting my time reading them. This article has one goal: to make you assess where you spend most of your time.
I mentioned back in my article “Time Management is Dead” that being busy ≠ being productive. Ain’t that the truth.
I also want to preface this article by saying that time management can seem like a dry topic. There are no secrets or fancy gimmicks. However if we do not become conscious about controlling our time it will control us.You must proactively choose where to spend your time and where not to spend your time.
Here are the ONLY 3 uses of your time. Choose wisely.
USE #1 : Sell Your Time
Worth MORE than money.
- Selling your time is what most people do.
- Selling your time is working the 9 – 5.
- You are trading your hours for dollars.
- The problem? You never see that time again.
- You receive a flat rate for your time. There is no investment.
- If you want to make $1 million dollars you need to stop doing $10/hr tasks
The problem? Selling your time is easy, secure and generates a steady income. I am not suggesting you quit your job after reading this article. However I would suggest you aim to spend MORE time in use #3 (more on that in just a bit).
USE #2 : Waste Your Time
Act as if your time is worth $1,000 / hr.
- How different would your life be if you acted as if your time is worth $1,000 an hour?
- What would you STOP doing?
- What would you START doing?
- Wasting your time is not just playing video games.
- Wasting your time is everything you do that doesn’t fill you up.
- It’s the gossip at the water cooler.
- It’s the checking of twitter 50 times a day.
- It’s the constant procrastination of that thing you’ve been avoiding.
Is there anything wrong with the above bullets? Do they sound too idealist? That’s because wasting our time is fun. Now, I am not saying that anyone who wastes their time is an evil slacker. However, we can all aim to spend less time in this use of time (myself included).
Try to catch yourself whenever you fall into use #2. See if you can change into use #3.
USE #3 : Invest Your Time
Selling your time is how you make a living. Investing your time is how you make a life.
It would be easy for me to try and say that there is only one way to invest your time. However, that’s not the case. When it comes down to it there’s multiple ways to invest your time. Here are three that I’ve found work for most people.
1. Do Nothing Time
- This is your “recharge” button.
- Do nothing time is where you refill.
- This could be meditating, working out, or hanging out with friends.
2. Ambitious Time
- This is where you are in “Do Mode”
- This could be building a new business, launching a blog, launching a podcast, writing a book, working with a coach, ect.
3. Personal Growth Time
- Personal Growth time is where you do the things that make you grow.
- Remember: what isn’t growing is dying. That might sound extreme, but it’s true.
- This could be reading books, attending seminars, going to workshops, a spiritual practice, journaling, gratitude, ect.
Your ONLY 3 Uses of Time
Previous Article: “Time Management is Dead”
Recommended Reading: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Control your life, don’t let life control you.
Feb 4th @ 2:15PM
How to WIN Friends and Influence People. Dale Carnegie Style
- WARNING: NOT APPLYING THESE STEPS CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE!
- 6 steps to win ANY argument (use them).
- Remember: You are a loser no matter what.
- BONUS: Video.
First: credit where credit is due. Most of these steps are adapted from How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. (I promise the actual book is better than the title).
Look, we all do it. Many times we flat out fail at communicating. We let emotions trump logic. Our first priority becomes winning / being “right”.
Is it REALLY a fight over doing the dishes or is it now a fight about who’s going to back down first? Is it REALLY an argument about GMO’s being good or bad for the planet, or is it about who has the best rhetoric and facts to crush the other person?
Don’t let discussions turn to arguments, and don’t let arguments turn to fact wars. When we fail to separate ourselves from out sides, we get disoriented and feel if they attack our beliefs, they are attacking us. Not applying theses steps can destroy your life and relationships.
So here are the six steps that can save you tons of useless debates and hurt feelings. But always remember: even if you “win” you still lose. Is winning the argument worth losing their goodwill? Is winning the argument more important than mutual respect?
STEP #1 : Don’t Trust Your First Impression
Your first impression is wrong.
- First impressions are misleading.
- You immediately misunderstand the person and go into “attack” mode.
- Ask yourself “what do they really mean by __________”
STEP #2 : If You Want to Win, Listen FIRST
Seek FIRST to understand, THEN be understood.
- Listening also sets you up to formulate a correct response.
- PEOPLE ARE NOT LISTENING TO YOU! They are formulating a response in their head.
- Let them get all their thoughts out FIRST.
- Now they are in a position to listen to you.
- Now they can truly see your side.
STEP #3 : Look for Areas of Agreement
Discuss areas of agreement FIRST!
- Make the other person feel as if you are on the SAME team!
- This one trick can save you TONS of arguments and misunderstanding.
- People often jump to polarized sides
- This happens out of obligation to be “different” or “against” you.
- This is a conflict, why would we agree?
- Get the other person saying “Yes! Yes!” immediately.
STEP #4 : Get Radically Honest
Let me say it: You might actually be wrong!
- If you are wrong, don’t mindlessly attempt to defend it.
- You are now defending your ego, not yourself.
- If you know you are wrong (and you will be), admit it and move on.
It’s okay to be wrong! Get this: if you get a hit 3 of 10 times in pro baseball they pay you $10 Million a year! That means you were “wrong” 7 of 10 times!
STEP #5 : Could They be Right?
Always ask yourself: Could they be right?
- Yes they could be.
- Frame your discussion as such.
- “My way or the highway” sounds cooler than it looks.
STEP #6 : Shut Up!
Bonus Tip: If you have to raise your voice, you’ve already lost!
- You WILL raise your voice at some point.
- This is not bad, it means the topic matters to you.
- However, raising your voice is seen as hitting the panic button.
- Aim to keep calm at ALL times.
- Practice points 1-5 and keeping calm will be MUCH easier.
6 Ways to WIN Any Argument
Like this article? Then check out How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
- WAY ONE: Overflow
- WAY TWO: Become the right person
- Like attracts like.
- Positive vs. Negative energy fields.
- Clark’s going on the Dr. Phil show?
CLARK RANT – “What’s the Point?”
All relationships are the same. We create abstractions such as “romantic” or “friends” when ultimately the core of these all stem from the same root; two beings relating to one another.
What’s the point of a relationship?
I’d argue it’s to magnify the human experience, to make it something where you are growing more together than you could alone.
Before I go any further I want to make it LOUD and CLEAR that I am NOT a relationship expert. You won’t be seeing me on Dr. Phil anytime soon. I have my own issues, trust me, just ask my girlfriend, family, or friends.
Over the years I can honestly say that there have been tips and tricks that have made a profound impact when it comes to relationships.
And as I’m sure you know, relationships matter. This is the area where if handled poorly, can really cause a lot of pain. On the flip side, if handled correctly, relationships can be a staple in a happy life.
How do we handle relationships “correctly”?
Glad you asked….
Way One: Overflow
You can’t give what you don’t have.
If you are not fulfilled you will have a hard time fulfilling others. I’ve noticed in my own life that the times I’ve felt most connected to others were also times where I felt most connected to myself. These tend to be when my fundamentals are in check (separate post coming on this soon). This raises the question “how do you connect to yourself?” and while I think that answer is going to be different for everyone, there are some commonalities in what works for us all. Some easy ways to check in on yourself are to do the following.
So back to you. Answer these questions.
- What fills you up?
- What would you do if time or money was no issue?
- What would you pay to do, and how do you get paid to do that!?
If none of the above questions get you fired up, consider asking yourself this question:
“What’s the ONE thing I need to do today in order to feel like I had a killer / meaningful day?”
That above question can really point you on the right direction. Give it a shot.
Way One: Become the Right Person
STOP trying to look for the right person, and START trying to become the right person.
Did you get that?
Seriously. Out of all the quotes / cliches out there, I think that above one liner takes the cake.
To bring it full circle, you need to work on yourself before trying to build a relationship with anyone else. Otherwise, you’ll be the person who brings the other down. Positive thoughts radiate at a much higher vibration than negative ones. Studies have shown that when two people interact, the one whose energy field is weaker will leach energy off the stronger person.
Like attracts like. Become the right person first.
VIDEO: Two Ways to Deal with ANY Relationship
Control your life, don’t let life control you.
Seattle, WA 4:22PM